Insert something Witty: Bri’s games for April

Just when you thought it was safe to put down your game controllers, April is here with a handful of titles that’ll satisfy your gaming needs.  After surviving the big titles of March — oh who am I kidding, I still have a flurry of zombies to kill, a galaxy to save, and have yet to become the Ultimate Ninja… I can’t be the only one who got Naruto, right? — there’s more games right around the corner to get excited about.  While April might not have the same blockbuster impact as last month, there’s still titles worth talking about which is what I’ll do… right now!

… now?  Yeah, now.  Now!

 


2 years late to the party, but Xenoblade Chronicles is here!


Xenoblade Chronicles (Wii)
Once upon a time, in a far away time known as 2010, there was a critically acclaimed RPG that hit the shores of Japan.  Wii owners over here in the U.S. watched in envy as the game got praise after praise after praise.  A giant RPG?  Open world?  Wii?  Such things hadn’t been heard of, but Xenoblade Chronicles did it and reviewers were going crazy over it.  They climbed the highest of mountains and shouted its name, eyes gleaming as if hailing a mighty god or goddess… all right maybe it didn’t get that dramatic but the hype was definitely there.

I’m not going to rant about how this wonderful game took so long to make it over here — 2 years, really?! — nor am I going to speak about the irony of this coming out during the Wii’s final hours.  I’m simply going to turn on my good ol’ Wii, remove the Zelda disc that’s been in it since November, and enjoy the fun.

 

 

Mutated vengeance at its best.


Prototype 2 (360/PS3)
Some sequels star the protagonist from a previous installment, continuing his — or her — ongoing quest.  Others have a fresh new face that bravely follows in the previous hero’s footsteps.  And sometimes… you get Prototype 2… where you set off on a bloody, mutating, destructive adventure in an attempt to kill the main character from the first game.  Well… all right, then.

As James Heller, Alex Mercer is the bane of your existence.  As cool as he seemed in the first game, to Heller he’s nothing but a low down, diabolical, family killing so and so who needs to be put in his place.  It’s up to you to use those nasty looking tendrils you’ve been blessed — blessed? — with to seek revenge.  With deadlier abilities, a more open world, and a variety of missions to choose from James Heller is ready to go out there, jump kick a helicopter, and spread absolute chaos.

 

Protect the king or die trying.


The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition (360/PC)
As Geralt of Rivia you’re feeling pretty good about yourself.  A professional monster slayer and witcher, you’ve not only helped stop a rebellion but you’ve saved a king.  Unfortunately, said king still needs protecting, and as this king strives for peace the attempts on his life keep increasing by the day.  As you try and figure out who was behind the first assassination attempt — especially since it was done by another witcher — you’ll have to protect the king at all times.  But the man always seems to be in danger!  Sigh, a bad ass’ job is never done, I suppose.

For the first time the PC RPG series hits consoles and The Witcher has never looked so beautiful.  With stunning graphics and incredible game mechanics, you’ve never experienced a world quite like this one.  Prepare yourself for intense battles, amazing graphics, and an epic story that will leave you wanting more.

 

 

Man, Dante is one bad mutha -- shut yo mouth!


Devil May Cry HD (PS3/360)
What’s better than one cocky, stylish, red jacket wearing hero?  Three of him!  In HD!  Joining the bandwagon of HD collections comes Devil May Cry, ready to kick ass in a barrage of gorgeous combos.  If you’ve missed Dante since his last adventure — half adventure, really, since he wasn’t the main character in DmC 4 — then this collection is perfect for you.  If you don’t know who Dante is and just want to have some hack and slash fun, then… wait, how do you not know who Dante is?!

Perhaps this is a sign of the DmC remake being ready for release sometime this century?  I certainly hope so, but until then it’s time to get reacquainted with Dante and slash up some monsters while awesome music blars in the background.  Build up those style points and get rockin’!  

 

 

Time to use that Vita for hours and hours and hours and hours and...


Disgaea 3: Absence of Detention (PS Vita)
I know what you’re thinking.  Not another RPG port.  But unlike some of the ports from the PSP — I’m looking at you Persona 3 and your lack of cutscenes — the Vita seems to believe that bigger is much, much better.  Disgaea 3: Absence of Detention is a port to the 2008 release Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice.  However, instead of taking anything out, the Vita release is adding so much that you’d swear it were a console game.

A Tera magic level, animated character portraits in cutscenes, all of the DLC from the PS3 game, two brand new characters never before seen in Disgaea, unlockable characters from Disgaea 4, four new story scenarios, and so much more that it would take the rest of this article to fit it all in!  Well… that’s over-exaggerating, but the point is that this is definitely a must have game for fans of Disgaea.  And if this is just a preview of what the Vita is capable of handling as far as ports go, I cannot wait for future releases like Persona 4: The Golden and Final Fantasy X — assuming they’re released here.  They will be, right?  Right?!

 

 

AH! Keep it away keep it away keep it away!!!


Spirit Camera: The Cursed Memoir (3DS)
Does the name not sound familiar?  What if I said Fatal Frame? A survival horror series for PS2, Fatal Frame absolutely gave me nightmares and a slight fear of cameras.  What better way to reignite that fear than to put the camera in your hands?

A spin-off of the Fatal Frame series, Spirit Camera features a new protagonist and a mysterious purple diary.  The most impressive — and freaky — modes, however, are outside of the story.  You’ll be able to use your 3DS’ camera features to take pictures of your environment, friends, and even yourself to see what’s haunted.  N-not that… I believe the new house I bought is haunted or anything, ha ha… ha… excuse me while I throw my 3DS into a river.

 

 

Insert some sort of backwards Yoda speak here, I will.


Kinect Star Wars/R2-D2 console (360)
It’s best to cover both things at once.  The 360 has gone through some awesome makeovers with Gears of War, Call of Duty, Halo, and other such titles that gave the console a wonderfully geeky makeover.  This, however, may be the best one yet.  Turning the 360 into your own personal R2-D2, the console is designed to look like everyone’s favorite robot buddy, complete with sound effects, a gold controller, and white Kinect.

And with that comes Kinect Star Wars.  Um… yay?

The Kinect continues to try and break away from the somewhat gimmicky games– yes, I realize the irony of that statement.  From first appearances this game looks like it would be fun, the idea of it is cool anyway.  Who doesn’t want to pretend to be a Jedi?  Oh hell, who doesn’t already pretend that they are?  But as soon as I saw Han Solo dancing it up to a remix of Jason Derulo’s, “Ridin’ Solo,” with lyrics that attempted to fit the Star Wars universe… well, they have to get an A for effort, at least, right?

 

 

The next big fighter? Urm...


Phantom Breaker (360)
Tired of Street Fighter x Tekken?  Probably not, but here’s another fighter anyway.  Haven’t heard of this gem before?  Don’t worry, I hadn’t either until now.  Yet another fighting tournament is taking place in good ol’ Tokyo with the promise of your wish being granted if you win.  Haven’t these game characters learned that it’s never, ever that simple?  Let’s just hope Calypso isn’t waiting at the end of the credits.

With a cover that looks like a JRPG, a mostly cute girl cast — including one dressed like a maid — and a slew of teenaged combatants, this game probably won’t be taking down last month’s fighters anytime soon.  At most, it’ll be entertaining, and probably sit forgotten on the shelves as we all continue to play the bigger named games from April and even March.  But I’m always a fan of fighting games, and a new title is always appreciated as I wait until Persona 4 Arena to hit stores in August.

And thus concludes the new games of April.  Insert a witty comment here and call it a day.  Until next time, everyone!

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About Briana Lawrence

A geeky girl that’s cosplaying as an adult — sort of — I’ve been into video games since I watched my mom save the princess in Super Mario Brothers when I was six years old. A couple of years later, anime would be added in my on-going list of geekery when I discovered a certain vampire hunter who had a hand that talked to him. I’m currently living in St. Paul with my wonderful partner who feeds my nerdtastic needs of anime conventions, watching Persona 4 on Hulu, and trying to beat the crap out of people like Nightmare or rolling up things with a katamari ball. The both of us cosplay together and do artist alley tables, selling the crafty things we make like plushies, woodburned coasters, shotglasses, and other things.

The two of us recently purchased a house together, took a room, and painted it with Pac-Man, Sonic, Portal, Star Fox, Katamari, and other gaming gems before we combined our massive game/anime/action figure collections. Up next? Painting our bathroom in an underwater mario theme! I would say I need professional help, but I’m a lost cause at this point. Besides, all men, women, and zombies are created equal!